I've just realized that this is one of the only places where I can talk to my closest friends and a general audience without my relations or acquaintances noticing. I can like, talk about stuff and no one will see it. With school being out I've been missing the pitiful social life I shared with you all. There aren't many people that share my interests in the small town of Okotoks either, but that's probably beside the point because I wouldn't want to go out and meet them anyway. I'd express myself on facebook or live journal or where ever else but too many people would see. So here's some shit no one else will get to hear.

I've got a job at safeway earning as much as I did as a supe at starbucks but only doing half the work. That's good. I also got a check from the tax man for $1300 which I'm going to use to buy dj/video/camera/computer equipment etc. I'll probably sign up for some martial arts classes at the local gym soon. I'll probably be working on freelance projects on the side. I frequently visit my local library. I visit my mom at the beach house and attend the 'ladies that lunch' thing that they do, (but just for the brownies). My healths okay, although my kidneys hurt sometimes. I was a one time bartender; (they have no hours).

My uncle is staying with us. Until july. He's from england, we aren't blood related, but he is the father of my cousin adam. He's a socially acceptable alcoholic. He drinks about 12 cans of beer a day, never less than 5 or he gets the shakes. He usually lives with his partner sue in England in a very large 17th cen townhouse. He has a big red sports car thing. His partners parents are rich, so she is a trust fund baby. They have no money though, because he hasn't worked for many years now after he was fired for a DUI. They put their kids though private schools and vacationed in southern France. But His partners mothly allowance isn't enough to support all of them. Not with the kind of lifestyles they want to lead.

His partner has sent him here. Hoping he might make something of himself. Follow the success of my father (another story). He's staying with us for free on the condition that he gets a job and develops the basement, along with any other odd jobs like repainting the deck. He's supposed to be setting up a life for his partner and their youngest son, so they can immigrate here. He's not. He's been toying with the idea of starting a window cleaning company, but its obviously below him because he hasn't even taken the first steps. He Supposed to be developing our basement but he's been here over two months and he's barley gotten the last of the materials needed for the drywall.

I could go on but I think you get the general picture. He's annoying the shit out of me. He tries to be funny to disguise his many short comings. The man has two switches, the drinking one is always flipped, and the other one switches between righteous condemnation of the society that conspires to ruin him and ha ha lets take the mikey out of everything. He can't talk like a normal person at all. Walk into the kitchen and he shouts from his laptop (which he is on skyping upwards of 6 hours a day)'Getting a trough of food then? breaking out the bucket?.' He can only make jokes and try to be funny.

This all kills me because he's a drag on everyone. He's leeching off my complacent (god bless her) mother and having affairs with girls he meets at pubs. His partner knows about this and still stays with him. He's been living of her and others for over a decade now and everyone is just enabling him. He's not going to get a job here. But we are stuck with him because he can't even afford a flight back. His partner is supposed to be coming here to buy a house, but she can't even afford a flight. I like his partner but she's so blind to his atrocious behavior.

I want him out of our fucking house. He's sleeping in my brothers room on the extra bed and I'm sleeping with my mother or on the futon, because I don't have a room. He just hangs around all day. Not working on the basement. Making up excuses. Drinking heavily. Its like having father around again, but instead of being a sociopath he's a useless drunk. I'm going to go mad soon. I'm going to just crack and go western on him. He needs to be told. My mother won't do it because she hates conflict, but I will. I'm so sick of all these pathetic people, who get away with shit. I'm really intensely private for the most part but, my burning desire to fix everyone usually takes precedent.

My father doesn't have a job right now. That means he won't pay alimony or child care if his savings burn out. He'll never sell his house because he payed way to much for it and the he has to keep up appearances. If my mother doesn't get her payments, her job at the beach house won't be enough to support us all. She'll move back to England to live in my aunts estate house, which is okay I guess but my brother might have to go through private school, if the public education system is as bad as we think. I'll have to get my masters in London, at the royal college or arts or some crap, instead of going to NY. My sister might move back as well to play with ponies or whatever she does.

Mother will have enough money there and will have people to support her, but she doesn't want to move back until absolutely necessary because she says she will miss us too much. I feel such a strong need to protect her and keep her happy. She's always being put on. When I'm rich I'll buy her shit and put my brother through college. Everything's been so turbulent since the divorce its like she will never catch a break. I want to move out because of my uncle but I'm like the man of the house now.

I wish I'd stayed in calgary with the people who offered me rooms. One of those people will probably read this. I'd have loved to rent a room but my mom needs me. My sister won't do shit all. My younger brother also needs me to guide him and hang out with him, and make sure he eats well. I love you duder, we can be roomies later.

THAT REMINDS ME! I'm supposed to be roomies with for school this year. Its going to be great, we are going to make great lunches and dinners and breakfasts for and . So its not all bad. I have stuff to look forward to. I'll go see movies with before she goes off to camp this week too.

Basically I want summer to end so I can go back to school and move into rez. I hate the suburbs.

ALL THESE BRITISH PEOPLE ARE MAKING ME TALK WITH AN ACCENT AGAIN. And all we listen to in the car is BBC radio 1, so all I'm hearing is English voices.

There will be so many spelling mistakes in this fucking novel of a journal entry because I can't type when I'm mad and tired.